Health Visitors… aaaaaaargh….

Seriously the level of conflicting, or just plain wrong, advice out there is appalling…

Two gems from a trained professional health visitor today at a weaning workshop for 6 month olds:

1) Add juice to their beaker to encourage them to drink water.

2) Try giving them marmite on toast for extra flavour.

Extra sugar and extra salt at 6 months. Shocking.

That is all.

Crying it out – could you?

Well we have hit that point in every babies life (I think!) where sleeps deteriorates rapidly…  From my repeated googling the consensus is that it s a combination of a 4 month growth spurt (there’s also some lovely tips to get through it on this page), sleep regression (this is a great article) 19 week wonder week and of course the dreaded solids debate

It’s tough.  BabBee has gone from 1 wake up a night to sometimes 5 – which is bad enough – but made worse that he no longer falls asleep again immediately after feeding.  I am tired.  I haven’t written anything for a week as I’m so tired (and also a little overwhelmed, how do people keep up with reading other blogs!?!).  But as much as I don’t want to create a monster, if he cries I go to him and do whatever is necessary to make it stop.  Fortunately DaBee is totally on board and (with a sharp kick in the leg to wake him up if needed) will also comfort his every whim.  I can’t help but wonder if we are “making a rod for our own back” (etc etc!)

To be clear BabBee is generally a good sleeper.  He settles himself at night and has regular naps in his cot when home.  If he is whinging but I can tell he will sleep I will leave him – but these new night awakenings are much more dramatic than that and need intervention.  We have tried patting and comforting, gentle rocking, sticking the thumb back in and they will work temporarily but he will generally wake again pretty quickly and need feeding, and then feed a lot!  So I am resigned to it, he clearly needs the food – and the quicker I feed the quicker he will go back down – I’ll worry about that rod later!

But to get to the point, another (not friend) mummy (lets call her Cowbag) told me how she left her baby to cry for 15 minutes and she’s much better now.  15 minutes! She obviously justified it by saying how dreadful she felt but if you can not go in for 15 minutes you can’t feel that dreadful.  It is of course the controversial crying it out, or more accurately The Ferber Method (some interesting science here)

I can’t ever imagine doing this… I’m far too “attached” but at 4 months???? Really????  Could you????

 

The changing face of Motherhood

I have always been quite a straightforward person, some might say harsh.  People say things like “at least when I ask you I get an honest answer”… which I know is a back handed statement about my inability to put up with idiots.  But since having BabBee opinions appear to have changed and I was recently described as an Earth Mother.  DaBee laughed his head off at that (and said I was as much of an Earth Mother as Hitler!) but it got me thinking about how having children changes you…. hmm…

I knew that after having BabBee I “would change” as 46,000 people had told me this, but how far does it go?  Now I am very pro breastfeeding, baby wearing, baby calm and use cloth nappies – that’s all pretty Earth Mother.  I walk most places – I was definitely too busy (and too lazy!) before.  But most of this is down to the gift of time on maternity leave, not the new “spiritual” connection I have made with the world.  I still get annoyed with people but knowing how small the mummy circuit is I think it is wise not to piss people off, and therefore try harder to be diplomatic.  What I would really like is for my non-baby and my baby friends to fill out a questionnaire but lets be honest this is all getting a little self obsessed…  I think I am supposed to be obsessed with my baby – mot the inner workings of my own mind!!

I guess the ultimate change is all that love you have for the new little person in your life and no one can doubt or deny that.  I guess the impact of the Bigger Change will emerge later – does anyone feel they have been intrinsically changed by the occasion of birth… I am interested?!

Magic Moment #1

Well I came across this while blog hopping and love the idea.  It also fits in beautifully with my focus for  week… naps…

Yesterday DaBee put BabBee down for his after lunch nap.  Predictably after 40 minutes BabBee woke up with one sharp squeal of pain and then some moaning.  DaBee rushed up to him (after checking with me first!) and shushed and patted him a little… then came back down and said “Lets give it five minutes” as BabBee gave another little wail.  After a couple of minutes I crept back upstairs to find…

BabBee Asleep.  In his standard starfish position.

That’s the first time he has gone back to sleep on his own after a nap.

It was definitely a Magic Moment:)

magic moments 150x150

When I grow up I wanna be a…

Just little thought – what do you wish for your BabBee when they grow up?  The stock answer is happy and healthy, but if I am honest I know I want more than that…  

I want BabBee to be reasonably intelligent, bright enough to get decent grades at school and capable of going to university.  I want him to be good looking enough to make friends easily, and girlfriends when he is old enough.  I want him to be good at sport and be able to play on a team or two. I also want him to be good fun – for family occasions and going out…

I know I want a lot, but I want it because I want him to have as many options open to him as possible.  I know how harsh schools can be.  I know how harsh society can be.  I also know I will always love him, however he turns out.

And the winner is…

Meeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Well, what an exciting day that was, thank you soooooooooo much Rebekah @ The Dissocial Mom for giving me such a thrill! Woop woop a nomination for a blog award in my first week made my day / year!  Unfortunately I was a little overwhelmed by the pressure and have been wondering how to write a great follow up reply… and wondering… and wondering… and am not at the point where I just need to DO IT!:)

For those of you who do not know The Liebster Award is a blogger to blogger award. Given to new bloggers who are building their audience, given by the bloggers who believe they are doing an exceptional job.  Rules are “When nominated, the blogger must list eleven facts about his/herself, answers questions given by the nominator, and come up with eleven questions for the five bloggers he/she nominates.” liebster-award

So, eleven facts about myself:

1) I love being a mum! I thought I would miss my job but I Really don’t!

2) I’m short

3) I have a short attention span and get into “hobbies” knitting, jewelry making etc then lose interest…

4) Football bores me (but unfortunately not my husband)

5) I am polite to people and then moan about them A lot behind their backs

6) (as above) I “don’t suffer fools gladly”!!!

7) I used to love exciting holidays but now I love sitting by the pool

8) Directions bore me, when people tell me them I don’t listen

9) If you talk to me when I’m reading i won’t listen

10) My sister and I see eye to eye on baby rearing!

11) I overplan and overprepare everything

Will that do?!?! Now my nominations – this is partly why this has taken so long as I wanted it to be good ones! The trouble is, how do you know how many followers they have?  Sorry if I have nominated anyone with loads more!!! but… I nominate…:

Now there are a lot of questions to answer and I feel I am blethering on enough as it is so I will be brief:

What motivated you to start blogging? My husband – he got bored of me moaning so encouraged me to do it online!

If you could ask only one thing of your children, what would that be? That they value their own and others happiness

What is your guilty pleasure as a parent? eg. polishing off some wine after a busy day and all the kids are in bed. Yep, the wine!

What is your best “go to” dinner when your imagination fails you and you don’t feel like cooking anything else? Risotto with chorizo

What is your most favorite thing to do during your “kid free” time? Swimming, dancing on tables

What is one inanimate object in your home that you just could not live without and why? Phone… sorry!

What is your favorite quote of all time? “What we do in life, echos in eternity”

Who is your favorite author and why do you love them? Roald Dahl, can’t wait to read him to BabBee

What is one thing that you used to love doing as a kid that you still secretly enjoy doing? Slurping jelly through my teeth

What is the best advice you can give other parents on how to cope with stress? This phase will pass

And finally my questions (some may seem familiar!)

  • What is your favourite thing about blogging?
  • What would you do with a whole day to yourself?
  • Recommend me a book (and I almost promise to read it)?
  • What is your standby easy meal (inspire me!)
  • What would you like your children to be when they grow up?

Thanks again Rebekah, and I urge you all to check out The Dissocial Mom This has been a mission but I love it!!!:)

Weaning… already?

Hmm weaning – a common area of discussion, argument and opinion – yet I must confess that I don’t know very much about it and people are irritating me already…

BabBee is 17 weeks and therefore technically old enough to wean… are people insane?  He is pretty advanced at holding up his head (even if I do say so myself) but shows no inclination to sit independently and every time I have tried he flops sideways like a bag of potatoes.  He has on occasion shown interest and  grabbed towards a piece of food, but he has also grabbed towards the TV remote… I can’t imagine BabBee would any clue what to do if I thrust food in his mouth and is certainly not missing out by not having any.

What about the other “reason” people give to wean?  Correct me if I am wrong but there are far more calories in breastmilk than half a pureed carrot. BabBee is exclusively breastfed, on the 91st centile and currently wakes once a night (fingers crossed!) he doesn’t appear starving to me? And when he is hungrier I feed him more in the day.  No problem.  And that’s what research tells me to do.

Incidently, he’s interested in the washing machine – is it time for him to do his own laundry?

My life measured in biscuits…

My life has changed.  Fact.  It is now a whirlwind of baby classes , drinking tea and eating cakes! But, and here lies the big question, why do I care so much about the biscuits?

So far we have:

Sure start breastfeeding group, free, excellent support, no biscuits (I forgive them!)

Baby Yoga, £7, nice but not much yoga, 1 strictly rationed biscuit

Baby Sensory, £5, pretty budget but BabBee seems to like it, no biscuit

Baby Sign, £7 , very enthusiastic, unlimited biscuits

Cloth nappy meet, donation, not much happening, 1 biscuit

La Leche meeting, £2, good chat, 1/2 biscuits

I’m sure I didn’t care before, I’m sure the quality of my interactions with people was not measured by the number of biscuits they provide. For some reason, no biscuit is more acceptable to be than one.   The fact is, it is nowadays biscuit matter and if Baby Yoga don’t get some decent chocolate biscuits soon, I quit:)

Sleepytime? Babies NEED naps!

Well I have been pretty MIA – and I apologise.  The combination of a fairly severe bout of mastitis plus getting obsessed with the clothopoly anagram has meant that this blog is dying out before it has even begun… I hereby publicly declare I will write a new post every day this week (you can call me on that!)

And I will start the week with something that has been bothering me a long time – Sleep and specifically naps.  I will put a tiny tiny little side step in, there may be a miniscule percentage of babies who can get by on little or no naps and remain chirpy and cheerful but basically Babies Need Naps.  FactFact.  Fact.

So why do lots of parents not get this?  Why do I hear “only she only sleeps 20 minutes in the morning and that’s it all day” yet observe an obviously grouchy baby.  Or see a baby crying and squirming in his mothers arms while she dangles a toy in front of him.  Or watch babies being forced to participate in (useless*) baby classes whilst upset and hitting their face.  Or notice a baby being passed around a group of people and as the baby looks away the holder tries to get their attention with smiles and coos. And on and on… and on…  As ever, none of these mothers are intentionally being unloving they just don’t seem to get it… Babies Need Naps.

I don’t know who I blame but not really mothers (although some could do with educating themselves a little more).   It just seems to be an unintentional conspiracy of mothers assuring each other it’s ok when actually, it’s not.  Babies need sleep to grow and develop, the more they nap in the day the better they sleep at night, and actually babies that sleep are happier.  Better naps would mean less overstimulated babies and therefore less colic.  Babies need naps.

I guess the next conundrum is how to facilitate this blessed sleep, but at least if mothers were trying that would be a massive step forward.  Babies need our help and there are many experts offering their opinions although I am definitely on the gentle side of the equation (more another day).  And i like the first half of this article about over tiredness, they should give it out at the hospital! Please please help your babies nap and we would all be happier parents.

 

(*Incidentally I love baby classes.  I go everyday. I just accept that under 6 months they are really for the mother and let the poor baby sleep if they need to x)

Cloth Nappies ROCK!

Well those of my regular:) followers may have noticed that since my enthusiastic start I have been sadly absent… horribly I have had mastitis which completely knocked me sideways, although I am still feeding (obvs!)  I am an enthusiastic user of cloth nappies and feel I should do something to celebrate Real Nappy Week – so decided on a photo diary as it is a little bit low maintenance!

Presenting, A Day in the life of a Cloth Bum BabBee:

2 1 3 5 4 7

I actually don’t have a bee in my bonnet about this as I totally get why people don’t use cloth nappies BUT

– they don’t smell, you don’t get poo in your washing machine, they look super cute  AND you might save money if you don’t get carried away with the pretty pattterns

So why not give them a try to celebrate Real Nappy Week 13

The top 10 of Anything and Everything!!!

The top 10 of just about anything everything, from cakes to cats and dogs to caravans. Always a laugh, always worth seeing.

Tealady Mumbles

Clueless First Timer Trying to Work Out This Parenting Malarky

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